Dear Cuban President Raul Castro:
Greetings from the evil capitalists of America!
Our purpose in writing is to wish you good fortune and pleasant days while entertaining our illustrious president, known, without much affection here in the USA, as Barack Hussein Obama.
We trust that Barack’s visit, commencing on March 20, 2016, will result in substantially improved relations between our nations. We are confident that Barack will bring much wisdom and enlightenment to all of Cuba.
He is, after all, a card-carrying, unrepentant communist and, as such, is vastly more alike unto you than he is to most Americans.
Other than his strident communism, Barack shares many other common values with the Cuban people: His abhorrence for organized religion and those who believe in God is one example. Further, his obsession with tyrannical rule and brutal disdain for free speech, religious expression, and individual liberty makes him a perfect partner for failed communist dictators and other world leaders who positively hate America.
So as to not gild the lily unfairly, we do wish to be brutally frank about Barack’s ambitious character: He is, despite his vociferous claims to the contrary, a ruthless politician, always on the prowl for additional power and resources with which to subdue small, unsuspecting prey, those not wise enough to protect their own from his relentless pursuit of domain and wealth.
This advisory is particularly appropriate now because, in January of 2017, Barack will no longer hold title to any official position in the United States. However, his insatiable desire for Lordship over others is unquenchable, to the extent that he may very well look to Cuba as his next “Hope and Change” property for victimization.
Being the evil capitalists that we are, we sincerely hope that Barack brings to Cuba the moral, economic, social, and military decline that he brought to we the people. None deserve the ruin of Barack more than the island-nation o Cuba.
Incidentally, before you ask, we will NOT even consider any offer to take Barack back. As of today, brother, he is all yours!
Give our regards to Fidel!
John W. Lillpop